In 1973, Carter traveled to Poland to hold the United States' first-ever news conference in a communist country, one where he would be fielding questions from actual Communists. So the stakes of this little visit were mega-huge. Imagine President Barack Obama holding a news conference in Taliban country. Now imagine that the night before the huge news conference, Obama says he wants to have sex with the Taliban. You just imagined Jimmy Carter's Poland visit.
Carter was speaking through a $150-a-day freelance translator who barely spoke Polish. The guy's mistakes started early on and never let up: When Carter opened with "I left the United States this morning," it got translated to, "I left the United States, never to return." When he said, "I have come to learn your opinions and understand your desires for the future," it was translated into, "I desire the Poles carnally." If the people of Poland weren't creeped out enough by Carter's apparently insatiable lust for some Polish sausage, the interpreter made things even more confusing by using archaic words and Russian syntax, and while he was at it, he made fun of the Polish constitution, too. Carter couldn't catch a break with this guy.
So that guy was fired, and a new translator was hired for a state banquet. Carter delivered the first line of his speech, paused for the translator… and heard nothing. Carter said the next line, paused again, and again there was silence. Apparently Translator No. 2 was having the opposite problem – he couldn't understand Carter's English – and so he decided silence was the best option, forcing the Polish leader's own translator to step in and pick up the slack.
This is yet another example of the risks of working with a cheap translation provider…
Image: Wikipedia Commons
Quick, funny German-English translation
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Huge List of Dumb and Crazy Laws in the United States
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See the first post in this serie here
Although cruel, cross cultural marketing mistakes are a humorous means of understanding the impact poor cultural awareness or translations can have on a product or company when selling abroad.
1. When Kentucky Fried Chicken entered the Chinese market, to their horror they discovered that their slogan "finger lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off"
2. Chinese translation also proved difficult for Coke, which took two tries to get it right. They first tried Ke-kou-ke-la because when pronounced it sounded roughly like Coca-Cola. It wasn't until after thousands of signs had been printed that they discovered that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Second time around things worked out much better. After researching 40,000 Chinese characters, Coke came up with "ko-kou-ko-le" which translates roughly to the much more appropriate "happiness in the mouth".
3. Things weren't much easier for Coke's arch-rival Pepsi. When they entered the Chinese market a few years ago, the translation of their slogan "Pepsi Brings you Back to Life" was a little more literal than they intended. In Chinese, the slogan meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave".
4. General Motors had a perplexing problem when they introduced the Chevy Nova in South America. Despite their best efforts, they weren't selling many cars. They finally realized that in Spanish, "nova" means "it won't go". Sales improved dramatically after the car was renamed the "Caribe."
5. Things weren't any better for Ford when they introduced the Pinto in Brazil. After watching sales go nowhere, the company learned that "Pinto" is Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals." Ford pried the nameplates off all of the cars and substituted them with "Corcel," which means horse.
6. Sometimes it's one word of a slogan that changes the whole meaning. When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the Spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
7. Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."
8. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux"
9. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"
10. American Motors tried to market its car, the “Matador,” in Puerto Rico based on an image of strength and courage, however, in Puerto Rico the word, literally translated, means “killer.” The inappropriate name is linked to the car’s lack of popularity because of the many hazardous roads in the country and the correlation with death made by consumers.
Some funny cross cultural marketing and translation mistakes
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Although cruel, cross cultural marketing mistakes are a humorous means of understanding the impact poor cultural awareness or translations can have on a product or company when selling abroad.
1. Locum is a Swedish company. As most companies do at Christmas they sent out Christmas cards to customers. In 1991 they decided to give their logo a little holiday spirit by replacing the "o" in Locum with a heart. You can see the result...
2. The Japanese company Matsushita Electric was promoting a new Japanese PC for internet users. Panasonic created the new web browser and had received license to use the cartoon character Woody Woodpecker as an interactive internet guide.
The day before the huge marketing campaign, Panasonic realised its error and pulled the plug. Why? The ads for the new product featured the following slogan: "Touch Woody - The Internet Pecker." The company only realised its cross cultural blunder when an embarrassed American explain what "touch Woody's pecker" could be interpreted as!
3. The Swedish furniture giant IKEA somehow agreed upon the name "FARTFULL" for one of its new desks. Enough said..
4. In the late 1970s, Wang, the American computer company could not understand why its British branches were refusing to use its latest motto "Wang Cares". Of course, to British ears this sounds too close to "Wankers" which would not really give a very positive image to any company.
5. There are several examples of companies getting tangled up with bad translations of products due to the word "mist". We had "Irish Mist" (an alcoholic drink), "Mist Stick" (a curling iron from Clairol) and "Silver Mist" (Rolls Royce car) all flopping as "mist" in German means dung/manure. Fancy a glass of Irish dung?
6. "Traficante" and Italian mineral water found a great reception in Spain's underworld. In Spanish it translates as "drug dealer".
7. In 2002, Umbro the UK sports manufacturer had to withdraw its new trainers (sneakers) called the Zyklon. The firm received complaints from many organisations and individuals as it was the name of the gas used by the Nazi regime to murder millions of Jews in concentration camps.
8. Sharwoods, a UK food manufacturer, spent £6 million on a campaign to launch its new 'Bundh' sauces. It received calls from numerous Punjabi speakers telling them that "bundh" sounded just like the Punjabi word for "arse".
9. Honda introduced their new car "Fitta" into Nordic countries in 2001. If they had taken the time to undertake some cross cultural marketing research they may have discovered that "fitta" was an old word used in vulgar language to refer to a woman's genitals in Swedish, Norwegian and Danish. In the end they renamed it "Honda Jazz".
10. A nice cross cultural example of the fact that all pictures or symbols are not interpreted the same across the world: staff at the African port of Stevadores saw the "internationally recognised" symbol for "fragile" (i.e. broken wine glass) and presumed it was a box of broken glass. Rather than waste space they threw all the boxes into the sea!
What if stop signs were invented by a major corporation
Huge List of Dumb and Crazy Laws in the United States
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A funny list of dumb laws in the United States.
- A 1950 anti-obscenity law in Irondale, Ala., prohibited any showing of anyone nude or "in a substantially nude state" except a babe in arms.
- Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
- An ordinance in Linden, Ala., provided that all women of "uncertain chastity" had to be off the streets by 9 p.m.
- Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
- Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
- Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate.
- Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
- Hunting is not allowed on Sunday.
- Incestuous marriages are legal.
- It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
- It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
- It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
- It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.
- It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
- It is legal to drive the wrong way on a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
- It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
- It's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."
- Jasper: It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
- Lee County: It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
- Masks may not be worn in public
- Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
- Mobile: It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.
- Montgomery: It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses.
- No persons may sell "blow-out nuts".
- Peanuts are not allowed to be sold in Lee County, Alabama after sunset on Wednesdays.
- Pool halls may not be operated between 11:30 PM and 6 AM.
- Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
- Slavery is still legal in Decatur, Alabama.
- The game of crackaloo is illegal in Fairfield, Ala.
- Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
- You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
- You may not drive barefooted.
- You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
- You must have windshield wipers on your car.
- A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
- Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.
- Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
- In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
- It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
- Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.
- Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
- A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
- Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back in the days of the Wild West).
- Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
- Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
- Due to a typographical error in the Tempe, Ariz., code, a shooting range can be run by the "Amateur Crapshooting Association."
- Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse.
- Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
- In 1985, an Arizona legislator proposed that each candidate for the legislature take a reading and an I.Q. test three months before the election. The scores would have been posted on the ballot, had the bill passed. But a majority of legislators, for whatever reason, voted it down.
- In Arizona it is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
- It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
- It is illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona.
- It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
- Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.
- Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.
- Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
- Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
- Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
- Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
- There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
- Tucson: Women may not wear pants.
- When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
- You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
- A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
- A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
- Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
- An Arkansas legislator not long ago proposed that the state provide growth hormones to dwarfs.
- Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"
- At Arkansas State University two people cannot hold hands while standing in a doorway unless they belong to a union.
- Fayetteville: It is illegal to kill "any living creature".
- Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
- In Arkansas it is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.
- It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas in that state.
- Little Rock: Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
- No person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M.
- The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
- Alhambra: You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
- Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
- A regulation in San Francisco makes it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash.
- Arcadia: Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
- A server in California can be convicted of selling to a minor if the purchaser uses a false or altered ID to buy the alcohol.
- Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
- Bathhouses are against the law.
- Belvedere City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
- Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
- Burlingame: It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds
- Carmel Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)
- Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
- California only fairly recently legalized the sale of alcoholic beverages in nudist colonies.
- Car wash attendants in San Francisco, California may not use old pairs of underware to wash or dry vehicles.
- Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
- Downey: It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).
- Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
- In 1838, the city of Los Angeles passed an ordinance requiring that a man obtain a license before serenading a woman.
- In Los Angeles courts it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
- In Berkeley, Calif., you can't whistle for an escaped bird before 7 a.m.
- In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow within the city limits.
- In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.
- In California, community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
- In California it is illegal to have caller ID
- In California it's against regulations to let phones ring more than nine times in state offices.
- In California you may not set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
- In California, selling a gold piece without tooth marks in it is considered forgery.
- In Los Angeles, years ago it was legal to cook in your bedroom, but not to sleep in your kitchen.
- In Los Angeles a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
- In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
- In the 1940's, California law made it illegal to serve alcohol to a gay person.
- In Riverside, California, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance.
- In San Francisco it's illegal to play poker in public or gamble in a barricaded room.
- In San Francisco, it's illegal to beat a rug in front of your house.
- In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
- It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
- It is a violation of the California Alcoholic Beverage Control Act for producers of alcohol beverages to list the names of retailers or restaurants that sell their products in advertising or even in newsletters.
- It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
- It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
- It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub
- It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
- It is illegal to set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
- Lafayette: You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
- Lodi: It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
- Lompoc: It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
- Long Beach: Cars are the only item allowed in a garage
- It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
- Los Angeles law forbids hunting moths under a street light.
- Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
- Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
- No alcohol beverages can be displayed within five feet of a cash register of any store in California that sells both alcohol and motor fuel.
- No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
- Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
- Oakland, Calif., makes it illegal to grow a tree in front of your neighbor's window and block his view. However, you're off the hook if the tree is one that town officials consider an attractive tree, such as a redwood or box elder.
- One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
- Ontario: Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
- Pacific Grove: Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
- Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
- Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
- Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
- Redlands: Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
- San Francisco has an ordinance prohibiting "cane games." City officials have no idea what cane games are. But when revising city laws recently, officials decided to keep the prohibition on the books, in case someday, somehow, cane games came back, they were deemed improper and the city needed the law.
- San Francisco is said to be the only city in the nation to have ordinances guaranteeing sunshine to the masses.
- San Francisco: Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash
- Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street
- San Francisco bans any "mechanical device that reproduces obscene language."
- San Francisco prohibits kerchoo powders and stink balls.
- San Jose: It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs.
- Santa Monica: You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
- Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
- Temecula: Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.
- The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
- The city of San Francisco holds a copyright on the name "San Francisco." It is illegal to manufacture any item with the name without first getting permission from the city. Since the Supreme Court upheld the copyright, San Francisco has had an annual $300 million surplus every year.
- The Santa Monica, Calif., City Council recently proposed that men be allowed to use women's public restrooms when there's a line of three or more at the mens' room, and vice versa.
- Women may not drive in a house coat.
- You can be fined $500 if you bother a butterfly in Pacific Grove, Ca.
- Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
- Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers.
- Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
- Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
- Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park
- Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
- In Colorado it's now legal to remove the furniture tags that say, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law."
- In Denver, Colorado it is illegal for Barber's to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes.
- In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor.
- It is against the law in Pueblo, Colorado, to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits.
- It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep in Logan County, Colorado.
- It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM.
- It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
- It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
- It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver.
- Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
- No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.
- Pueblo: It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
- Sterling: Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
- A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
- A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
- Balloons with advertising on them are illegal in Hartford, Conn.
- Bloomfield, Conn: It's against the law to eat in your car.
- Cattle branding in the United States did not originate in the West. It began in Connecticut in the mid-nineteenth century, when farmers were required by law to mark all their pigs.
- Devon: It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
- Druggists in Connecticut must pay $400.00 each year for a license in order to use alcohol in compounding prescriptions.
- Guilford: Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
- Hartford: You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands
- In colonial times, Hartford, Conn., had an ordinance that allowed any resident to rent the town chain for 2 pence.
- In Connecticut any dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police.
- In Connecticut it is illegal to pirouette while crossing the street
- In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
- In Hartford, Conn., it's illegal to plant a tree in the street.
- In Hartford, Connecticut, it is illegal to kiss your wife on Sunday.
- In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
- In Simsbury, Conn., it's illegal for a politician to campaign at the town dump.
- It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.
- It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
- It's illegal to clam at night in Connecticut.
- New Britain: It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
- No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.
- Southington: Silly string is banned.
- Strangers in Simsbury, Conn., were required, under an ordinance enacted in 1701 and only recently repealed, to leave town within a month unless they had at least 20 shillings to their names.
- The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited.
- This state still retains an old law forbidding any kind of "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."
- Under the Code of 1650 in the New Haven Colony (in what is now Connecticut), a 16-year-old boy could be put to death if he "cursed, struck or disobeyed" his parents or was "stubborn or rebellious."
- Waterbury: It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.
- You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
- You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
- You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.
- You may not educate dogs.
- Delaware prohibits horse racing of any kind on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
- In Delaware it is illegal to get married on a dare.
- In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money without a license.
- It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
- Lewes: It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist
- A D.C. federal judge has ruled that begging is a form of free speech protected by the Constitution. That means that mugging is free speech too, only more persuasive.
- In Washington D.C. it is illegal to post a notice in public which calls another person a 'coward' for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.
- It is unlawful for small boys to throw stones, at any time, at any place in the District of Columbia.
- The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
- The U.S. government says it's a crime to give false weather reports.
- Apparently with an exaggerated idea of the laws of thermal dynamics, the city council of West Palm Beach, Fla., once decreed that the roofs of all outhouses be fireproof.
- Don't plan on using any of the celebratory Champagne bottle sizes known as Methuselahs, Salamanazars, Balthazars or Nebuchadnezzars. These very traditional Champagne bottle sizes are all illegal in Florida.
- Florida deals with its prostitution problem by giving prostitutes spending money, a five-year banishment, and a bus ticket out of town.
- Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay.
- Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street.
- Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
- Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
- If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
- In Florida failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.
- In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.
- In Florida, a special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
- In Florida, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
- In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
- In Miami, Florida it is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
- In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
- In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
- Miami Shores Village, Fla., has for years required that all goods made in Communist countries and offered for sale in Miami Shores Village be clearly marked as such. The ordinance notes that such goods are often marked in a "false, misleading or inadequate manner, to hide their Communist origins."
- In Sarasota it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
- It is considered an offense to shower naked.
- It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.
- It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday.
- It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
- It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
- It's against a Key West, Fla., ordinance to spit on a church floor.
- It's illegal in Florida for an unmarried man and woman to live together in "open and gross lewdness." Connecticut once had a similar law, but only the woman was penalized.
- Key West: Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
- Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
- Pinecrest: In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained.
- Sanford Stage: Nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
- Sarasota: If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00
- You may not catch crabs.
- Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
- Under a 1959 ordinance, stubborn children were considered vagrants in Jupiter Inlet Colony, Fla.
- When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
- Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.
- You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
- You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
- You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
- Acworth: All citizens must own a rake.
- An old law in Columbus, Ga., made it illegal to sit on your porch in an indecent position.
- A Kennesaw, Ga. law makes it illegal for every homeowner not to own a gun, unless you are a convicted felon, conscientious objector or disabled.
- Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
- Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
- Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
- Georgia has 75 laws on how to build rice paddies, even though the state has only one rice farm left. Rice was the state's No. 1 crop before the Civil War. But right after the war, a hurricane destroyed all the paddies and ponds. It was too expensive to replace them without slaves, so the Rice State began growing peaches, peanuts and other crops.
- Georgia officials were revising their state laws in 1981, and noticed they still allowed pensions for Confederate widows. That week the last widow died. Lawmakers bowed their heads, and deleted the law.
- In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
- In Columbus, Georgia it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.
- In Georgia, movie houses that want to show films on Sunday must reserve one showing a month for religious material.
- It is illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse.
- In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
- It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
- It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro.
- It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.
- It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
- Kennesaw: Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
- Marietta: Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
- Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
- One man may not be on another man's back.
- Signs are required to be written in English.
- St. Mary's: No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.
- Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
- You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
- All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.
- Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.
- Honolulu: Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird.
- In Hawaii it is illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid unless in the presence of a registered physician.
- It used to be the law in Hawaii that children had to obey all "lawful and moral" commands of their parents.
- It's illegal for a shooting gallery to offer liquor as a prize. The shooter might want to come back after drinking the prize and try again.
- You will be fined if you do not own a boat.
- Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
- Idaho Falls, Idaho: If you're 88 years of age or older, it's illegal for you to ride your motorcycle.
- Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
- If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
- Idaho and other states allow members of the Native American church to use the hallucinogenic plant peyote in religious services.
- Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
- In Idaho walking along the street with a red-tipped cane is strictly prohibited.
- In Idaho, a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.
- In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view."
- It's illegal to hunt from the back of an animal.
- Non-married couples in Idaho who engage in sexual intercourse can be jailed for up to six months
- Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
- The town of Idaho Falls, Idaho, forbids anyone over the age of eighty-eight to ride a motorcycle.
- You may not fish on a camel's back.
- "Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.
- A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)
- According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
- An Illinois state law requires that a man's female companion shall call him "master" while out on a date. The law does not apply to married couples.
- Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
- Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
- Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
- Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
- Fairfield: It is unlawful for "Negroes" to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.
- Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
- Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
- Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
- If the Rushville, Ill., city council doesn't have a quorum, those sent can have the cops go out and arrest absent members and bring them to the meeting.
- In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer's face.
- In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
- In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
- In Chicago, Illinois, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
- In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or "otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.
- In Minoola, Ill., it's illegal to take your clothes off and "expose the naked
- In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
- In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
- It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
- It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
- It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
- It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
- It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
- It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
- It's not clear what this has done to the bar business, but a law in Chicago, Ill., makes it illegal to serve liquor to the feeble-minded.
- Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
- Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
- Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
- Morton Grove: You may not own a handgun
- Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
- Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
- Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
- Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
- Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
- The English language is not to be spoken.
- The people in Manteno, Ill., do not want used facial tissue, period. Hence, you cannot "throw, drop or place" a used hankie "upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway."
- Under a 1872 law still on the books, an alderman in Chicago can carry a gun. Some do.
- You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
- You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
- You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
- Zion: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.
- "Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.
- A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
- A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor.
- A sports agent is supposed to give a college 10 days notice before luring a star athlete into the professional ranks.
- A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
- All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
- Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
- Auburn: It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.
- Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs.
- Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
- Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
- Beech Grove: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
- Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
- Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
- Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
- Drinks on the house are illegal.
- Due to a typographical error, a routine ordinance in Shelbyville, Ind., about charging for bad checks started out: "Whereas, the city of Shelbyville through its various governmental fascists receives numerous checks..." This was changed to "governmental facets."
- Elkhart: It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
- Evansville: While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.
- Fort Wayne: You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It's In the Book".
- Gary: Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
- Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
- Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
- If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
- In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
- In Indiana it is illegal to sell laughing gas with the intent to induce laughter.
- In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
- It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.
- It is illegal in Elkhart, Indiana, for a barber to threaten to cut off a youngster's ears.
- It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
- It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
- It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
- It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.
- Liquor stores may not sell milk.
- Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.
- Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
- Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
- No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
- One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
- Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
- Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
- South Bend: It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
- State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
- Taxpayers of Bainbridge, Ind., used to have to swear a solemn oath that the values they placed on their taxable property were the fair market values.
- It’s illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
- The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
- Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
- You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table, the waiter or waitress has to do it.
- You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
- You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.
- A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
- An owner or employee of an establishment in Iowa that sells alcohol can't legally consume a drink there after closing for business.
- If a law enforcement officer is having a drink in a bar in Iowa and an employee pours water down the drain, the water is legally considered an alcohol beverage intended for unlawful purposes.
- In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.
- In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.
- In Marshalltown horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
- In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
- Indianola: The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.
- It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.
- It is illegal to hunt from an aircraft.
- It is illegal to accept a gratuity or tip in Iowa.
- It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
- Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
- One-armed piano players must perform for free.
- Riverboat gamblers in Iowa have a $5 maximum bet.
- The Iowa Legislature once passed a resolution ordering the state cafeteria to start serving cornbread.
- Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.
- You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.
- In Kansas City, KS, saying the name "George Washington" without adding the phrase "blessed be his name," can land you with a fine of up to fifty cents.
- In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.
- In Topeka, Kansas, servers are forbidden to serve wine in teacups.
- In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way.
- It is illegal to catch bullfrogs in a tomato patch.
- It is illegal to hunt whales.
- It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
- Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.
- Lawrence: All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.
- No one may wear a bee in their hat.
- Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
- No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
- Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
- Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
- Russell: Musical car horns are banned
- Salina: It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.
- The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
- Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
- A person can be sent to jail for five years for merely sending a bottle of beer, wine or spirits as a gift to a friend in Kentucky.
- An ordinance in Murray, Ky., says the superintendent of sanitation "shall determine whether a person is small, medium or large." Why the superintendent should make this determination is left unsaid.
- A Kentucky statute says: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
- All nude people in your house must be registered in Kentucky.
- Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars."
- Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100).
- By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
- Each year, the mayor of Danville, Ky., must appoint "three intelligent housekeepers" to the Board of Tax Supervisors.
- Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
- In Danville, Ky., it's illegal to throw slops or soapsuds in the street.
- In Kentucky, according to an old law, it's illegal to use any kind of reptile in a religious service. It's not certain if the law would withstand First Amendment scrutiny today.
- In Kentucky every citizen of is required to take a shower once a year.
- In Kentucky you need a license to walk around nude on your property.
- It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.
- It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
- It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale
- It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.
- By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
- No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense.
- No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500.
- Owensboro: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.
- All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease.
- An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
- Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault".
- Communism has been against the law in Haines City, La., since 1950.
- If you've ever been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, you'll see the kings and queens on the various floats throwing plastic money, medallions and jewels to the crowd, but not food. It's against the law to throw food from a float in the Mardi Gras festivities.
- It is against state law to steal even a single crawfish.
- It is illegal to gargle in public places.
- It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
- It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.
- It is illegal in Lafayette, Louisiana to play a musical instrument for the purpose of attracting attention, without a license.
- It's legal to walk down the street with a drink in New Orleans, even to drive with a drink. But if you fall over and block the sidewalk, you've just broken the law.
- Louisiana law prohibits couples who are shopping for a new bed from putting it to the "ultimate test"-- in other words, from trying it out by making love on it, or even simulating this activity.
- Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
- New Orleans: You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
- Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine, or fecal matter are not allowed.
- Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
- Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
- After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
- In Augusta to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
- It's illegal to clean salmon along Maine's upper Kennebec River. Enforcement of this law has been made easier for many years by the fact that, because of a dam, there are no salmon on the upper Kennebec River.
- In Maine, it is illegal to sell a car on Sunday unless it comes equipped with plumbing.
- In Maine it's illegal to catch lobsters with your bare hands.
- In Portland shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
- In Waterville, Maine, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
- It's unlawful to tickle a woman's chin with a feather duster in Portland.
- Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
- You may not step out of a plane in flight.
- Baltimore City: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.
- Baltimore has regulations governing the disposal of hog's heads, pet droppings and oyster shells.
- Columbia: You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish. Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
- Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
- Gypsies should steer clear of Caroline County, Md., where it's a $100 fine or six months in the can for "forecasting or pretending to foretell the future."
- In Baltimore it's illegal to block the sidewalk with a box. But the offense only carries a $1 fine. Another law makes it illegal to throw bale of hay (or of anything else) out a second-story window. That gets you a $20 fine.
- In Baltimore it's illegal to play professional croquet before 2 p.m. Sunday. The law also applies to professional quoits.
- In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
- In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.
- In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies.
- In Halethrope, Maryland kisses longer than one second are illegal.
- In Maryland, a woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.
- In Maryland, men may not buy drinks for female bartenders.
- In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
- In Maryland, the legislature once proposed a board of parachute examiners to be made up of five licensed parachute instructors who would test and license all other parachute instructors. The plan had been abandoned when it was learned there were only three licensed parachute instructors in the state.
- It is a violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine.
- Maryland now requires that alcohol beverage writers be certified as experts by an agency of the state before they can receive product samples, which it limits to three bottles per brand.
- Ocean City: A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk.
- Thistles may not grow in one's yard.
- You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
- You cannot swear while inside the city limits of Baltimore.
- A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City.
- A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
- Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
- Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
- All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
- Both Massachusetts and New Hampshire had old laws that penalized gamblers who lost money. You'd get fined in Massachusetts if you had any money left.
- Bullets may not be used as currency.
- Burlington: You may not walk around with a "drink".
- Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
- Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
- Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
- Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
- Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
- Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
- Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
- Holyoke, Massachusetts, makes it unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining.
- In a law that predates returnable bottles and cans, it's illegal in Boston to rummage through rubbish containers.
- In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
- In Boston it's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. It's also against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole.
- In Boston, it's illegal to cut firewood in the street, or shoot a bow and arrow in the street.
- In Boston it's against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you're overstocked, you need a permit to move the stuff. And you can't leave it in the street.
- In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
- In Massachusetts, it is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies.
- In Massachusetts you must have a license to wear a goatee.
- In Massachusetts, if you get caught eating peanuts in church , you can be jailed for up to one year.
- In Provincetown, Mass., it's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday.
- In Salem, Massachesetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
- It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
- It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
- It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
- It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
- It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
- It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine
- It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
- It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
- It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
- It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
- Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
- Massachusetts law declares that peanuts may not be eaten in court.
- Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
- Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
- Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
- No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
- North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
- Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
- Public boxing matches are outlawed.
- Quakers and witches are banned.
- Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
- Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
- Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
- Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
- There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.
- Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
- Under an old law in Marblehead, Mass., it was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary.
- Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand.
- You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
- You may not curse inside the city limits.
- You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.
- A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband : a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
- Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
- In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
- In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
- In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
- In Rochester, Michigan, anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
- It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
- It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit.
- It's illegal in Michigan for a person under the age of 21 to give a gift of alcohol beverage to anyone, even to a person of legal age.
- Permitting diners to take home an unfinished bottle of alcohol beverage, rather than consuming it all before leaving to prevent "waste," encourages moderation and discourages intoxication. However, this is prohibited in Michigan.
- Smoking while in bed is illegal.
- The use of the names of dead presidents to sell alcohol in Michigan is prohibited.
- Under an 1889 law, the health officer of East Jordan, Mich., could send any nonresident with an infectious disease back to where he came from, as long as the person could travel. If not, the officer could rent a house for use as a pest house.
- A Blue Earth, Minnesota, law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless monitored by a parent.
- A Minnesota tax form is quite thorough. Some would say too thorough. It even asks for your date of death.
- A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
- All bathtubs must have feet.
- All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
- Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
- Clawson: There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
- Every man in Brainerd, Minnesota is required by law to grow a beard.
- Grand Haven: No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
- Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
- Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
- Hibbing: It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
- In Duluth, Minnesota it is illegal to allow animals to sleep in a bakery.
- In Minnesota, it's illegal to tease skunks. (As if being sprayed weren't enough of a deterrent.)
- It is illegal to sleep naked.
- It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
- It used to be legal in Minnesota to sell rolled candy on Sunday, and illegal to sell flat candy. The wafer people have gotten this one repealed.
- Minneapolis: Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
- Minnesota has repealed its so-called "Twinkie" law, under which a Minneapolis City Council candidate was indicted for dispensing $34 worth of Twinkies, Ho-Hos, cookies, Kool-Aid and coffee to some senior citizens.
- Minnesotans are forbade from teasing skunks.
- No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
- Public intoxication is a crime in Pennsylvania but specifically not a crime in Minnesota.
- Rochester: All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. Smoking while in bed is illegal.
- St. Cloud: Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
- There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
- Virginia: You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
- Wayland: Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
- You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
- Kalamazoo: It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
- Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
- Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
- Columbus: The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
- Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
- In Brandon, Mississipi it is illegal to attempt to stop someone from walking down the sidewalk by parking a motorhome in their path.
- In Temperance, MS, you can't walk a dog without dressing it in diapers.
- In Oxford, Miss., it's illegal to "create unnecessary noises."
- It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
- It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
- Oxford: It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
- Tylertown: It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.
- Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
- Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine.
- Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
- Buckner: In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
- Children can buy shotguns in Kansas City, Missouri... but not toy cap guns.
- Excelsior Springs: Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
- Four women may not rent an apartment together.
- In Ballwin, Mo., the only place you can use vulgar, obscene or indecent language is in your home.
- In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
- In Springfield, door to door salesman are prohibited from selling their goods while standing in the middle of the road, screaming at passing vehicles.
- In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
- In St. Louis, a law on the books makes it illegal to park your car without turning off the engine. This was to avoid scaring horses.
- It is not illegal to speed.
- It's illegal to sit on any street curb in St. Louis, Missouri, and drink beer from a bucket.
- Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
- Marceline: Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
- Marquette: It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).
- Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
- Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
- Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
- Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited.
- St. Louis: It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets. A milk man may not run while on duty.
- University City: Four women may not rent an apartment together.
- It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
- It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
- In Billings, Montana it is illegal for employees of the city's communications center to program their phones with speed dial.
- Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
- It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime in Montana.
- Bozeman has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
- Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
- In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
- Helena: No item may be thrown across a street.
- Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
- Salisbury: Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
- Whitehall: It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
- Montana just legalized the production of caviar.
- Barbers are forbidden by law from shaving a man's chest in Omaha, Nebraska.
- In the fine state of Nebraska, it is not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing.
- It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
- It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
- It is illegal to sleep naked in a hotel/ motel room.
- Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold
- Omaha: Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.
- The owner of every hotel in Hastings is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
- Waterloo: Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.
- Clark County: An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.
- Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
- In Eureka, Nevada men who have mustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
- In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.
- In Las Vegas you can bet on any team--except The University of Nevada at Las Vegas.
- In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
- In Nevada until the 1960s it was illegal to sell liquor at religious camp meetings, within a half-mile of the state prison, in the State Capitol Building or to imbeciles.
- In Reno, Nevada staging a marathon dance is illegal, although posting a notice on a fire hydrant about illegal dance marathons is not.
- In the old days in Nevada a man caught beating his wife was tied to a stake for eight hours a day with a sign that read, "Wife Beater" fastened to his chest.
- It's illegal in Nevada to have a "house of ill fame" within 400 yards of a church or school.
- It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
- It is illegal in Reno, Nevada to conceal a spray-painted shopping cart in your basement.
- It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
- Nyala: A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
- Saloonkeepers had to post the names of habitual drunkards if so requested by the local sheriff or members of the imbibers' immediate families.
- Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
- If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.
- In New Hampshire it is illegal to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria.
- It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
- It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
- New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
- On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
- White Mountain Nat. Forest: If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.
- You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
- You may not run machinery on Sundays.
- Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
- Bernards Township: It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
- Caldwell: You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
- Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
- Cranford: Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
- Cresskill: All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
- Elizabeth: It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.
- If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
- In Berkley Heights you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday.
- In Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 p.m.
- In New Jersey it is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
- In New Jersey, it is illegal to slurp soup.
- It's illegal in New Jersey for parents to give their children under the age of 18 even a sip of alcohol.
- It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
- It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
- It's also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street.
- Lovers in Liberty Corner should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
- Manville: It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.
- Newark: It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.
- On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
- Raw hamburger may not be sold.
- Sea Isle City: There will be no boiling of bones on the property.
- There is no horse racing allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike.
- Trenton: You may not throw a bad pickle in the street. Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.
- Unless you have a doctor's note, it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6 PM in Newark, New Jersey.
- You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.
- You may not slurp your soup.
- A city council member in Albuquerque, N.M., introduced a resolution a few years ago to ban Santa Claus from the city. The matter was defeated.
- Carrizozo: It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
- Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
- In Albuquerque, New Mexico it is illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull potential customers into their cabs.
- In Carlsbad it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
- In recent years, several efforts have been made to legalize camel racing and ostrich racing in New Mexico, but to no avail. Those bills were defeated, but the legislature recently allowed gambling on bicycle races.
- It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
- Las Cruces: You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
- State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.
- A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
- A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
- Before the enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets, approximately 40 million pounds of dog excrement were deposited on the streets every year.
- Carmel: A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
- Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, N.Y.
- During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
- In Carmel, N.Y., a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
- In Greene, New York, During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
- In New York, you can teach your pet parrot to speak, but not to squawk.
- In New York City you need a permit to transport carbonated beverages.
- In New York City it is illegal for a man to give 'The Standard Lear' to a woman. Violators are forced to wear horse blinders.
- In New York City, it's illegal to throw swill into the street.
- In New York City it's illegal to shake a dust mop out a window.
- In New York State it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.
- In Ocean City, New York It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.
- In Ocean City New York, It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
- In Staten Island, New York, You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
- In Tonawanda, New York homeless people may not start a fire in the park unless they intend to cook food.
- It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
- It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
- It is illegal to jump off the Empire State building.
- It's illegal in New York to start any kind of public performance, show, play, game or what have you, until after 1:05 p.m.
- Jaywalking is legal, as long as it's not diagonal. That is, you can cross the street out of the crosswalk, but you can't cross a street diagonally.
- Members of nine New York Indian tribes are exempt from the city's eight percent parking tax.
- New York and a handful of other states require that toilets be evenly divided among men and women in public theaters or arenas.
- New York: Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
- It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."
- Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
- New York City may be the theater capital of the country, but it's illegal to have a puppet show in your window and a violation can land you in the snoozer for 30 days.
- New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.
- Ocean City: It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle. It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
- Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
- Staten Island: You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand. It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
- The New York City Transit Authority has ruled that women can ride the city subways topless. New York law dictates that if a man can be somewhere without a shirt, a woman gets the same right. The decision came after arrests of women testing the ordinance on the subways. A transit police spokesman said they would comply with the new rule, but "if they were violating any other rules, like sitting on a subway bench topless smoking a cigarette, then we would take action." Smoking is not allowed in the subways.
- The New York State Senate passed a resolution to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the Brooklyn Dodgers' 1955 world championship and expressed a longing that someday the Dodgers will return to "their one and only true home."
- The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
- To cut down on its once-horrific graffiti problem, New York City several years ago made it illegal to carry an open can of spray paint.
- While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
- Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
- You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
- You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand
- A recent proposal that ministers walk the beat with police officers in Belmont, N.C., notes "the ministers will carry a Bible instead of a gun."
- An ordinance proposed in Robbins, N.C., states, "In the future, anyone not living within the immediate vicinity of Robbins must have a permit from the Chief of Police and okayed by the Mayor or one of the Commissioners." It's not clear what the permit is for, but they may be on to something.
- In Robbins, N.C., anyone who refuses to black out after hearing the blackout signal is subject to a $5 fine.
- A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.
- All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden.
- All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.
- Barber: Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.
- By town law the sewer service charge in Belhaven, N.C., used to be "$2 per month, per stool." It was recently changed to read "per toilet."
- Because people were using them for cheap furniture, it's now illegal in North Carolina to take and sell labeled milk crates.
- Chapel Hill: It is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly.
- Charlotte: Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times. E
- Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
- Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.
- Forest City: You must stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile. This is so the townspeople will have time to go out and hold their horses until you get through town.
- Greensboro: Restaurants "with on sidewalk dining" must post their menu so that it is clearly readable from the sidewalk, but is not readable from the street.
- Hornytown: Massage parlors have been banned.
- In Asheville, North Carolina, it is illegal to sneeze on city streets.
- In Raleigh, North Carolina, before a man asks for a woman's hand in marriage, he must be "inspected by all the barnyard animals on the young woman's family's property, to ensure a harmonious farm life."
- If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
- If you happen to own a marl bed in North Carolina, the law demands that you put a fence around it. A marl bed may not be what you think. It is a kind of rock quarry.
- In Barber, North Carolina fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.
- In Chapel Hill, North Carolina it is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly.
- In Charlotte, NC, woman must have their bodies covered with at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
- In Forest City, N.C., it's illegal to bring a pea-shooter to a parade. It's also illegal to shoot paper clips with rubber bands.
- In Mooresville, N.C., it's illegal to attach anything to a pool table.
- In Nags Headm North Carolina you can be fined for singing out of tune for more than ninety seconds.
- In Rockwell, N.C., anyone who violates the terms of a proclamation--such as failing to appropriately celebrate Peanut Day or Jaycees Week--is guilty of a misdemeanor.
- North Carolina just passed a law saying a political action committee, or PAC, has to have a name that describes the group's cause or purpose. The idea is to prohibit, say, the highway or tobacco lobbies from calling themselves "Citizens for Good Government."
- In North Carolina it's illegal to dig ginseng on other people's property between the months of April and September, according to an 1866 law.
- In North Carolina it's illegal to sell cotton lint at night. It's also legal to sell cottonseed at night.
- In North Carolina it is illegal to make love on the floor of a hotel room between two double beds.
- In Winston-Salem, North Carolina, it is against the law for children under seven years of age to go to college.
- It is against the law to roller blade on a state highway.
- It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.
- It's against the law to sing off key.
- It's unlawful to attract a crowd in Forest City, N.C., except when aching the Gospel, politicking or "serenading on occasion of public rejoicing."
- Kill Devil Hills: You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars.
- Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden.
- North Carolina forbids sex outside of marriage, or "fornication," but the girlfriend as well as the man would have to be prosecuted.
- Punching an official at a youth sports program in Nashville, N.C., incurs a three-year suspension from the program for adult spectators as well as participants.
- Rocky Mount: It is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog.
- Southern Shores: It is against the law to roller-blade on a state highway.
- Thomasville, North Carolina, prohibits airplanes from flying over the town on Sundays during the hours between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m.
- The good people of Tryon, N.C., are serious about getting a good night's sleep. It's against the law for anyone to keep "fowl that shall cackle," or for anyone to play the piccolo between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7:30 a.m.
- While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.
- You can't sneeze on the streets of Asheville, North Carolina.
- You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars.
- lon College: There is to be no roller-blading during daylight hours, on the roads, or on the bricks. All the sidewalks at this college are made of brick.
- Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
- Fargo: One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
- In Collierville: Keeping clean can be a chilly proposition, as a law there says all bathtubs must be kept in the backyard.
- In North Dakota, charitable groups can hold stud poker games to raise money, but only twice a year
- In North Dakota it is illegal to keep an elk in a sandbox in your backyard.
- In Waverly you better not let your horse near the tub, since horses are prohibited from sleeping in them, as well as in the house.
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
- It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.
- According to Ohio law, it's against the law to kill a housefly within 160 feet of a church without a license.
- A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him. However, the reverse is not true, even if it's a police dog.
- Bay Village: It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.
- Bexley: The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited.
- Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
- Cars are not allowed to scare horses in Centerville, Ohio.
- Cincinnati: Anal intercourse is banned.
- Cleveland law forbids you to operate a motor vehicle while sitting in another person's lap.
- In Cleveland, Ohio, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
- Clinton County: Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.
- In Chillicothe, Ohio it is illegal to throw rice at weddings.
- Columbus: It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
- Funeral jargon seems to have crept into the wording of a cemetery fee regulation in Norton, Ohio. There regular plots are $33, but "creamies" are $75.
- In Columbus, Ohio it is illegal to sell cornflakes on Sunday.
- In Marysville, Ohio it is illegal for a dog to urinate on a parking meter.
- In the hippy-dippy late '60s, Youngstown, Ohio, briefly had a law making it illegal to walk barefoot through town.
- In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.
- In Oxford, Ohio, it is unlawful for a woman to appear in public while unshaven. This includes legs and face.
- In Xenia, Ohio, it's illegal to spit in a salad bar
- Ironton: Cross-dressing is against the law.
- It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
- It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
- It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
- It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
- It is legal to throw a snake at someone but it is illegal to shake a snake at someone.
- Items left on a tree lawn become city property. A young man was fined for removing an item from a tree lawn even though he had the owner's permission.
- It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
- Lima: Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold.
- Lowell: It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.
- Marion: You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
- McDonald: Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.
- No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
- North Canton: It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
- Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.
- Oxford: It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
- Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
- The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
- Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
- Toledo: Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
- Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio, a man might see the reflection of their underwear.
- You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
- You may not run out of gas.
- Youngstown: Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.
- Alfalfa Bill Murray was a legendary legislator in Oklahoma around the turn of the century who became speaker of the house and governor. He was also a tall fellow, and nothing ticked him off more than going into a hotel and having short sheets on the bed. In 1908 he had a law passed that required all hotels in the Sooner state to have sheets that covered the bed and had three extra feet of linen to cover the head and feet. The so-called "Nine Foot Sheet" stayed on the books for several decades, until after Alfalfa went to his last resting place.
- A City Ordinance in Oklahoma, states that it shall be unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
- Ada: If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.
- Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
- Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.
- Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
- Clinton: Molesting an automobile is illegal.
- Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
- Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
- Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
- Harthahorne City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
- If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.
- In Broken Arrow, Oklahoma pigs less than 32 inches in length may be kept as pets provided there are no more than two in a house.
- In Bromide, Oklahoma it is illegal for children to use towels as capes and jump from houses pretending to be superman.
- In Oklahoma... Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
- Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
- In Oklahoma, people who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
- In Tulsa, Oklahoma the limit on kisses is three minutes (by law).
- In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
- It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
- It is illegal to have sex before you are married.
- It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
- It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
- It's statutory rape for a man over 18 to have sex with a female under the age of 18, provided she's a virgin. If she's not a virgin, it is okay, but the said person must be over 16. If both parties are under 18, then the law does not apply.
- Molesting an automobile is illegal.
- No one may spit on a sidewalk.
- Oklahoma City: No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.
- Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
- One may not promote a "horse tripping event".
- Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punisable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.
- People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
- Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings.
- Schulter: Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
- Tattoos are banned.
- Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.
- Tulsa: You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer. Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.
- Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
- Whale hunting is strictly prohibitted throughout the entire state of Oklahoma.
- Whaling is illegal.
- Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
- Wynona: One's mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended. Mules may not drink out of bird baths. Clothes may not be washed in bird baths.
- Yukon: It is illegal to tie a horse in front of city hall. While passing another vehicle, you must honk your horn.
- Beaverton: You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
- Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
- Dishes must drip dry.
- Eugene: It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays.
- It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert.
- Hood River: Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
- In Oregon anyone with a bad reputation is prohibited from distributing malt beverages.
- In Salem, Oregon, it's illegal for patrons of establishments that feature nude dancing to be within two feet of the dancers.
- In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
- It is against the law for animals to have sex in the city limits.
- It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
- It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.
- It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
- It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.
- Klamath Falls: It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane.
- Marion: Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
- Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
- Myrtle Creek: One may not box with a kangaroo.
- No more than two people may share a single drink.
- One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
- People may not whistle underwater.
- Portland: It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink. People may not whistle underwater. You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms.
- Salem: Women may not wrestle in Salem. Springfield It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a pet.
- Stanfield: It is against the law for animals to have sex in the city limits. Cloth towel dispensers are banned from restrooms. No more than two people may share a single drink.
- The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment. Not even a court of law can. All you can access is what the doctor or nurse voluntarily records in your chart.
- You must let your dishes drip dry.
- A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
- A special cleaning ordinance bans homemakers from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
- Allentown: There is a ban on men becoming aroused in public.
- Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
- Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.
- By law, "watch stuffers" are unwelcome in McKeesport, Pa. Now, no one is quite sure what a watch stuffer does, but whatever he does, he better do it somewhere else.
- Carlisle: In the middle of town, one must pay a fee of $50 dollars a year to park on a particular block. At night, however, the cars must be moved for street cleaning. This law is enforced even if snow or ice prevents the cars from being moved.
- Connellsville: One's pants may be worn no lower than five inches below the waist.
- Danville: All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.
- Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
- Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
- If a motorist sees a horse coming down the road, the driver must pull off to the side of the road and cover the vehicle with canvas. If the horse is still scared the driver must get out of his car and take it apart until the horse isn't scared anymore.
- In Bensalem, Pennsylvania it is illegal to race mufflerless go-karts after 6PM on Sunday.
- In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
- In Hazelton, Pennsylvania, there is a law on the books that prohibits a person from sipping a carbonated drink while lecturing students in a school auditorium.
- In Pennsylvania, "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue."
- In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags.
- In the Mount Pocono region any group of 5 or more Native Americans are to be considered a raiding party and may be killed on the spot.
- In York, Pennsylvania, you can't sit down while watering your lawn with a hose.
- It sounds like the title of a rock album or something, but "Coasting on Beaver Street" is illegal in Edgeworth, Pa.
- It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
- It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.
- It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
- Millville: One may not shoot any dog that is found wandering the streets.
- Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.
- Morrisville: It is required that a woman have a permit to wear cosmetics.
- Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.
- Newtown: Every outlet or switch (which can be purchased for 59 cents) that is installed requires an electrical inspection fee of 1 dollar and 33 cents.
- No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
- No more than two packages of beer at a time may be purchased, unless you are buying from an official "beer distributor"
- No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator. Stoves, dishwashers and microwave ovens are not specifically mentioned.
- Pittsburgh: It is still illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car.
- No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator.
- Ridley Park: You cannot walk backwards eating peanuts in front of the Barnstormers Auditorium during a performance.
- Tarentum: Horses are not to be tied to parking meters.
- The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.
- Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.
- Witchcraft was first legalized in the colony of Pennsylvania.
- You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
- You may not catch a fish with your hands.
- You may not sing in the bathtub.
- Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
- Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second.
- In Providence, Rhode Island it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
- In Newport, Rhode Island it is illegal to smoke from a pipe after sunset.
- In Scituate, Rhode Island it is illegal to keep a flock of chickens in your motorhome if you live in a trailer park.
- Impersonating a town sealer, auctioneer, corder of wood, or a fence-viewer is against the law. Penalty: $20 to $100 fine.
- It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
- It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even it it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years.
- It is illegal to coast downhill in your car with your transmission in neutral, or with the clutch disengaged.
- It is illegal to place a windmill within twenty-five (25) rods of any traveled street or road.
- It's a misdemeanor to keep more than 11 inoperable vehicles in front of a house.
- Professional sports, except ice polo and hockey, must obtain a license to play games on Sunday.
- Providence There is not an appeals process for exemption of property tax due to a disability or poverty.
- It is illegal to wear transparent clothing.
- You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
- Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal. Penalty: Maximum $20 fine and imprisonment for 10 days.
- This state still prohibits unmarried people from having sex under any circumstances. However, if caught, the lovers are both fined only 10 dollars
- West Warwick It is illegal to use water on even-numbered days for the sole purpose of watering plants, gardens, or lawns. If you break this law there is a fine of $25-$100.
- A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people.
- All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day.
- By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.
- Charleston: It is against the law to drive a motorized vehicle on King Street.
- The Fire Department may blow up your house. This law was made so that the fire department could create a fire brake.
- Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.
- Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
- Fortune tellers are required to obtain a special permit from the state.
- Fountain Inn: Horses are to wear pants at all times.
- Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
- In some church in South Carolina, every man must bring a rifle to church on Sunday to ward off Indian attacks.
- In some town in South Carolina, it is perfectly legal for a man to beat his wife. But only if its on the courthouse steps on Sunday.
- In South Carolina you can be fined for not denouncing "the evils of intemperance" on the fourth Friday of every October.
- It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
- It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.
- It is illegal to communicate with a woman using obscene messages.
- It is illegal to display a confederate flag on a courthouse.
- It is illegal to give or receive oral sex.
- It is illegal to sell any alcoholic beverages on Sunday, unless you own a private club.
- Lancaster County: It is illegal to dance in public.
- Merchandise may not be sold within a half mile of a church unless fruit is being sold.
- Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday.
- No work may be done on Sunday. An exception is that light bulbs may be sold.
- On Hilton Head Island, South Carolina it is illegal to shine a flashlight on a sea turtle
- Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal.
- Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses.
- Spartanburg: Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.
- When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.
- If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
- In hotels in Sioux Falls, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!
- In South Dakota no horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
- In South Dakota it is illegal to try to convince a pacifist to renounce his beliefs by threatening to arm-wrestle him.
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
- Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
- No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
- Spearfish: If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.
- "Crimes against nature" are prohibited.
- Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud bitch that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction.
- Driving is not to be done while asleep.
- Dyersburg: It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
- Fayette County: You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property.
- Hollow logs may not be sold.
- In Jonesboro, Tenn., a slingshot used to be classified by law as a deadly weapon.
- In Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it, waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.
- In Tennessee hollow logs may not be sold.
- In Tennessee it is illegal to use a lasso to catch fish.
- It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
- It is illegal to catch a fish with a lasso.
- It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
- It is legal to gather and consume road kill
- It's illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM.
- Knoxville: In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a "hitching post."
- Lenoir City: When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming.
- Lexington: No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited.
- More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
- Nashville: Males may not be sexually aroused in public.
- Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging.
- The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin.
- You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
- Oneida: An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song "It Ain't Goin' To Rain No Mo'."
- A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
- A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
- Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
- Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
- Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.
- Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.
- Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
- Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
- El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."
- Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.
- Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
- If you went to church in Texas years back, you'd better be recognized. An old law made it illegal to go to church in disguise.
- In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of castor oil by a local doctor...and failure to gulp it down will result in a fine.
- In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.
- In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length.
- In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday.
- In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
- In Lefors, Texas it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.
- In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.
- In Texas, criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
- In Texas it's legal for a chicken to have sex with you, but it's illegal to reciprocate.
- It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
- It is illegal to carry a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket.
- It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
- It is illegal for a person to shoot a buffalo from the second story of their hotel.
- It is illegal to have an open container in a car.
- It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it is attached with a chain
- It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
- It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
- It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses something no bigger than his thumb.
- It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn't blind.
- It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them.
- It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
- In San Antonio, Texas, you can't honk a horn, run a generator, have a revival meeting or do anything else that disturbs the neighborhood and the city has a four-member noise police squad to enforce the law.
- In Texas any artificial constructed underwater barrier reefs must come with an instruction booklet.
- In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities.
- It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.
- Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.
- Mesquite: It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
- Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
- Richardson: It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street. It is illegal to do "U Turns".
- San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
- Temple: No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. You can ride your horse in the saloon. Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.
- Texarkana: Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.
- Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.
- The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
- There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle.
- You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
- A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
- A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance.
- A Utah legislator proposed a resolution urging that each TV weather person be required to provide an ice cream cone to every member of the state House of Representatives whenever the forecast was wrong. The resolution failed, perhaps on First Amendment grounds. • In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper.The man does not receive any punishment.
- Birds have the right of way on all highways.
- In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
- In Utah it is illegal to fish from horseback.
- In Utah, the husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
- In Utah when a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin.
- It is considered an offense to hunt whales.
- It is illegal not to drink milk.
- It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.
- It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
- Kaysville: You must have identification to enter a convenience store after dark.
- Logan: Women may not swear.
- Monroe: Daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
- No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
- No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
- Provo: Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.
- Salt Lake City: No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin.
- The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (BAFT) bans the word "refreshing" to describe any alcohol beverage.
- Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.
- Tremonton: It is illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance and if you are caught, the guy is let go and the woman is punished and her name appears in the newspaper.
- Trout Creek: Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
- When a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin.
- You're not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.2% alcohol.
- As in most dairy states, Vermont does what it can to discourage the use of margarine. For example, it's illegal to use colored margarine in restaurants unless the menu indicates you do--in letters two inches high. Colored margarine can only be served in triangle shaped patties.
- At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
- Barre All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
- Call a Vermont court a "kangaroo court" or some similar moniker, and you might be looking at a $200 fine. It is illegal to defame a court.
- In Vermont It's against the law (not to mention impossible) to whistle under water.
- In Vermont it is illegal to paint landscapes in times of war.
- In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
- It is illegal to deny the existence of God
- It's against the law in Vermont for vagrants to procure food by force. Apparently if you have a good job and stable home life, it's O.K. to procure food by force.
- Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week- - on Saturday night.
- Whistling underwater is illegal
- Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
- An old Virginia law was titled, "An Act to Prevent Corrupt Practices or Bribery by Any Person Other Than a Candidate."
- As in many towns, you need a permit to run a barbershop in Christiansburg, Va. But the wording of the town's law indicates that the permit will be revoked if you're caught operating without a permit.
- A Virginia law requires all bathtubs to be kept out in the yards, not inside the houses.
- Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
- Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.
- Culpeper: No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk.
- Dayton: A person of color may not be outside or within the city limits after 7 pm.
- Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited.
- If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.
- If you are intoxicated but not driving your car, but the person who is driving your car is intoxicated, both you and the driver can be charged with DUI in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
- In Christiansburg, Va., it's illegal to imitate a police whistle.
- In Christiansburg, Va., it's illegal to "spit, expectorate or deposit any sputum, saliva or any form of saliva or sputum."
- In Newport it's against the law to tickle a girl under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention.
- In Norfolk a woman can't go out without wearing a corset.
- In Radford, VA you are not allowed to spit, loogie, puke or urinate on the streets.
- In Richmond, Va., you must buy a license for 93 cents to sell song books on the street.
- In Richmond, Virginia it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
- It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays.
- It is illegal to spit on sidewalk.
- It is illegal to tickle women.
- Lebanon: It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.
- Norfolk: Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
- A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere.
- Women must wear a corset after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.
- Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.
- Perhaps anticipating telemarketing, the town fathers of Albany, Va., have for years prohibited peddlers from using the telephone to either sell things or raise funds.
- Richmond: It is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee.
- Stafford County: It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm.
- Swearing at someone over the phone in virginia is punishable by a $100 fine.
- There is a state law prohibiting "corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates."
- There was once a law in Salem Virginia that made it illegal to leave home without knowing where you were going.
- Victoria: It is illegal to skate down the sidewalk of Main Street.
- It is illegal to use profanity on Atlantic Avenue or the boardwalk.
- It is also unlawful to drive by the same place within 30 minutes on Atlantic Avenue.
- Waynesboro: It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.
- You cannot buy hardware of any kind on Sunday.
- You cannot sell lettuce on Sunday, but you can sell beer, wine etc.
- You may not have oral or anal sex.
- You may not work on Sunday.
- A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."
- All lollipops are banned.
- All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.
- An old Washington law sent duelists to jail for ten years, assuming they didn't lose the duel.
- A proposed Washington law protects sports referees from civil suit unless their actions were "willful, wanton, reckless, malicious or grossly negligent."
- Auburn: Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
- A Washington state law offers the presumption that youngsters will read comic books.
- Bremerton: You may not shuck peanuts on the street.
- Everett: It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.
- If the honey you are eating in Seattle is a blend of honey from or more types of flowers, it's illegal for the honey to be labeled as having come from one type of flower.
- In Olympia, Wash., minors are prohibited from frequenting pool halls.
- In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
- In Spokane, Wash., it used to be illegal to interrupt a religious meeting by having a horse race.
- In the state of Washington, there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances.
- In the state of Washington it's illegal to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.
- In Washington state it's illegal for a candidate to buy anyone a drink on Election Day.
- In Washington state it's illegal to sleep in an outhouse without the owner's permission.
- In Washington state it's illegal to sell to minors comics that might incite them to violence or depraved or immoral acts.
- In Washington it's illegal to pretend you're the child of a rich person and entitled to his estate.
- In Washington, anyone under the age of 18 must have parental permission to throw a tear gas canister.
- In Washington state, until quite recently, you could have been fined up to $500 for removing or defacing the label on a pillow.
- It is illegal to deflower a virgin even on their wedding day.
- It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
- It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.
- It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.
- Lynden: Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.
- People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
- Seattle: You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
- Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
- No one may set fire to another person's property without prior permission.
- It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus • because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.
- Spokane: TV's may not be bought on Sundays.
- The state of Washington doesn't allow marathon dancing--or marathon skipping, sliding, gliding, rolling or crawling.
- There is/was a law on the books in Washington state that stated that a motorcar driven at night must be preceded by something like 100 yards by a man carrying a lantern.
- Under the law of the state of Washington, any restroom with pay toilets has to have an equal number of free toilets. This law came to pass after the speaker of the state House of Representatives raced to an all-pay facility without a dime.
- Waldron Island: No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water for flushing.
- Washington state doesn't allow fake wrestling.
- Wilbur: You may not ride an ugly horse.
- You are not allowed to breast feed in public.
- You need a license to sell condoms in Washington state.
- According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.
- Alderson: One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
- A person may not hold public office if they have ever taken part in a duel. A person may be jailed for up to six months for making fun of someone who does not accept a challenge.
- Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
- Huntington: Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse. It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.
- If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
- In Alderson, West Virginia, it is illegal to walk a lion, tiger or leopard in the city limits, even it is on a leash.
- In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humerous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
- In West Virginia it is illegal to dig for ginseng on your neighbor's lawn without their permission.
- In West Virginia, it is legal for one to take roadkill home for dinner
- In West Virginia you cannot fly a red flag in front of your house if you are disappointed in your sherrif.
- It is against the law for men to have sex with any animal over 40 pounds in weight.
- It is illegal to snooze on a train.
- It is illegal to spit on any sidewalk which women may walk down.
- It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
- It is unlawful for chickens to lay eggs before 8AM and after 4PM.
- Nicholas County: No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
- No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
- Road Kill may be taken home for supper.
- When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.
- Whistling underwater is prohibited.
- As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.
- At one time, margarine was illegal.
- A Wisconsin legislator in the 1970s proposed a law providing that no woman over 21 be required to divulge her age. If age information were required by law, women could use an alphabetic code: women in their '20s would use
- A Wisconsin legislator recently introduced a bill making it illegal to tattoo someone under the age of 18. He was quoted as saying, "I'm going to save the buttocks of a few juveniles."
- Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
- Car dealerships cannot sell cars on Sunday.
- Citizens may not murder their enemies.
- Condoms were considered an obscene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist's counter.
- In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
- In St. Croix, women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
- In Wisconsin you are allowed to marry your house.
- In Wisconsin you need a cheesemaker's license to make any kind of cheese, except Limburger. To make Limburger, you need a master cheesemaker's license.
- In Wisconsin, after 3:00 a.m., you have to send a rocket signal in the air after every mile you drive.
- In Wisconsin, it is illegal to cut a woman's hair or to kiss on a train.
- It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.
- It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.
- It is illegal to kiss on a train.
- It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
- Kenosha: No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.
- La Crosse: It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street (Now a major bar strip). It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window. It is illegal to play checkers in public. You cannot "worry a squirrel."
- Milwaukee: An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car. It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention. If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day. It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.
- Next time you start a riot in Wisconsin remember that it i illegal to use a laser pointer to do so.
- Racine: It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man.
- St. Croix: Women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
- State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
- While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license.
- Wisconsin law provides for a fine of $2 to $20 for anyone under age 17 caught jumping onto a railroad car while the train is in motion.
- You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
- An ordinance in Newcastle specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
- Cheyenne Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.
- In Wyoming it is illegal to tattoo a horse with the intent of making it unrecognizable to its owner.
- It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
- It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or place of amusement.
- Wyoming required that every inmate of the state's training school for girls be issued crinoline bloomers.
- You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
Following my post on Chuck Norris programming facts, here is more facts for your viewing pleasure:
- MVC actually stands for Model-View-ChuckNorris. Controller is just one of his nicknames.
- Chuck Norris was written in C# which itself was written in Chuck Norris
- You don't follow Chuck Norris on Twitter. He follows you, finds you, and kills you
- The design of Silverlight DeepZoom was directly inspired by Chuck Norris’ powers of bionic vision.
- Chuck Norris doesn't write code...oh no, he thinks about the finished product and the code appears.
- Chuck Norris has no need for virtual methods. Nothing can override Chuck Norris.
- A synchronize operation doesn't protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
- Chuck Norris invented recursion to see what would happen if he roundhouse kicked himself.
- Chuck Norris can multi-thread on a single processor by breaking it into pieces.
- Chuck Norris wrote a program that calculated the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris' compiler is afraid of displaying warnings to him. It just fixes the code automatically.
- Chuck Norris uses Vista with UAC turned on. He has received no warnings. Ever.
- Chuck Norris monitor has no glare…no-one glares at Chuck Norris.
And as a last one for today, try to type "How to Find Chuck Norris" in Google and click "I'm Feeling Lucky"…
“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.”(Donald Knuth, 1977)
“It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to Basic; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.”
(Edsger W. Dijkstra, 1982)
“The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.”
(Edsger W. Dijkstra)
“The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense.”
“Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.”
“Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more ‘user-friendly’… Their best approach so far has been to take all the old brochures and stamp the words ‘user-friendly’ on the cover.”
“Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”
“Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.”
“Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.”
“No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.”
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.”
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
(Edward V Berard)
"If you want to set off and go develop some grand new thing, you don't need millions of dollars of capitalization. You need enough pizza and Diet Coke to stick in your refrigerator, a cheap PC to work on and the dedication to go through with it."
Software and cathedrals are much the same - first we build them, then we pray.
On the Financial Times’s blogs Tony Barber wrote this article about his recent experience of machine translation. After hearing a recommendation that bloggers should “try to use computer-generated translations” to provide foreign language versions of their own blogs he decided to see for himself and he put Google Translate to the test.
One section that was especially funny was taken from a Polish Newspaper and translated into English using Google Translate it says,
“A sign of the collapse of the French culture of the restaurant is visible on the streets of Paris rash of quick-service bar, offering generally pogardzane a few years ago and cheeseburgery hamburgers.”
Cheeseburgery Hamburgers — brilliant!
My personal favourites taken from 101 Ways To Know Your Software Project Is Doomed.
- Developers use the excuse of “self documenting code” for no comments
- All of your requirements are written on a used cocktail napkin
- Progress is now measured by the number of fixed bugs and not completed features
- Your source code control system is a series of folders on a shared drive
- Your lead web developer defines AJAX as a cleaning product
- Developers are not responsible for any testing
- All code reviews are scheduled a week before product launch
- Every bug is prioritized as Critical
- Every feature is prioritized as Trivial
- The night shift at Starbucks knows you by name
- To reward you for all of your overtime your boss purchases a new coffee maker
- The lead web developer thinks the X in XHTML means ‘extreme’
- Ever team meeting starts with “Do you want the good news or the bad news…”
The sad part is how many of these actually ring true for real projects in real organizations.
Found this on endgadget:
Generally, when someone makes a teddy bear-themed gadget, his/her intention is to overwhelm bystanders with cuteness. But whoever created this little guy, whose head has to be removed in order to access the internal USB drive, must have watched one too many Tim Burton movies. No word on how much it holds or if there are any plans to make these available for purchase, but with your own bear, a thumb drive, some thread and a closet full of skeletons, you can probably make your own without too much effort.
More humorous posts here:
When CAPTCHA goes bad
Programming is like sex
- The system works because Chuck Norris tells it to work
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a test suite. The test suite needs Chuck Norris.
- CPUs run faster to get away from Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris normalizes all schema just by inserting random data
- Packets travel faster than the speed of light for Chuck Norris, but he can still catch them
- Chuck Norris's brain is his revision control, and it works better than git
- Chuck Norris can finish an infite loop in 1.3 seconds.
- Code written by Chuck Norris cannot be optimized.
- Chuck Norris never dies. He simply returns 0.
- Chuck Norris can break Moore's Law
- Chuck Norris doesn't need compilers nor editors. He roundhouse kicks the disk and the bytecode appears.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use GOTO. Code comes to him.
- There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Chuck Norris allows to occur.
- 90% of the worlds spam is handtyped by Chuck Norris. It takes him only 3 minutes.
- Chuck Norris can parse invalid XML
- Every time you don't use "use strict" Chuck Norris kills a kitty.
- The best compression algorithm in existence are Chuck Norris fists.
- Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
- Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors
- The one true bracing style is the one Chuck Norris uses.
- Every program Chuck Norris has written can be run backwards. It will rollback whatever it did.
- No matter how you encrypt your traffic, Chuck Norris can read it by just looking at the cable. His ears can intercept wifi transmissions.
- Chuck Norris can enrich himself simply by hacking your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.
CAPTCHAs are everywhere now. When you want to open an account, anywhere, you will encounter one of those. But there are times when the programmers probably needed a spec describing exactly what the expression “proving that you are a human” means…
Corey Smith found some of the worst CAPTCHAs on the Web. Here is my personal favourite: